Office of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion

In league with campus political correctness and the Affordable Care Act's propagandist Pajama Boy, the wizards at Harvard's Office of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion distributed a holiday placemat in the college's dining halls, encouraging students, whose parents pay $60,659 a year for the privilege, to go home and guide "holiday discussions on race and justice with loved ones."

Within days, under withering criticism, Harvard administrators issued an apology:

"We write to acknowledge that the placemat distributed in some of your dining halls this week failed to account for the many viewpoints that exist on our campus on some of the most complex issues we confront as a community and society today. Our goal was to provide a framework for you to engage in conversations with peers and family members as you return home for the winter break, however, it was not effectively presented and ultimately caused confusion in our community.

On behalf of the Office of Student Life and the Freshman's Dean's Office, we offer our sincere apologies for this situation.

Academic freedom is central to what Harvard College stands for. To suggest that there is only one point of view on each of these issues runs counter to our educational goals. We appreciate the feedback that we have received about this initiative. Moving forward, we will, with your continued input, support the growth and development of independent minds."

In mock response, the Harvard Republican Club issued an alternative placemat:

There was one thing I liked about Harvard's placemat, the tip about breathing!